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Red Dwarf - 1 - Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers - Ebook download as PDF File ( .pdf), Text File .txt) or read book online. Red Dwarf: better than life. by Grant Naylor · Red Dwarf: better Red Dwarf: infinity welcomes careful drivers. by Grant NAYLOR eBook: Document: Fiction . Does anyone know why it is seemingly impossible to get an eBook of this, .. As a huge Red Dwarf fan, I naturally love the four books based on the series too.


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The Red Dwarf book series by multiple authors includes books Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers; Better Than Life, Better Than Life, Last Human, and several. Red Dwarf: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers [Grant Naylor] on ukraine-europe.info * FREE* Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App. Here are the first two novels of the cult series Red Dwarf in one volume – Red Dwarf and Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

Grant Naylor is a gestalt entity occupying two bodies, one of which lives in South London, the other in North London. The product of a horribly botched genetic engineered experiment, which took place in Manchester in the late fifties, they try to eke out two existances with only one mind. The first body is called Rob Grant, the second body Doug Naylor. Head writers of Spitting Image; for three years. They have just finished writing this biographical note for their first novel and are currently working on the dedication, which they hope will appear within the next few pages.

His personality had been stored on disc. He caressed his eyelids with the rough balls of his fingers. Twelve miles below him. That was why the money was so good. He wanted her to start a new life when he was gone. Far away to his right was the bright multi-coloured ball of Saturn. This wasn't the deal. Saunders got up. But this was different. But of course. Even if there was no life after death. Start a new life. They all had to be completed so his wife.

What a stupid. When he'd first signed up. The kind of stupid. No planet leave for Saunders. Because that's what she was going to do now. She would go to bed with him. He smashed his fist down onto the table. Flight Co-ordinator George McIntyre was about to solve all his problems.

So even though she loved him dearly. The flavoured ones. Then he remembered he already was. That's what she had to do. She would. His bed! Probably using the three condoms he knew for a fact he had left in the bedside cabinet. The fist passed soundlessly through the grey metal desk top. His mind ran amok. You can't stay married to a dead man. Their marital bed. Saunders didn't know it but. She would meet Mr Terrific and have a physical relationship. The ones he'd bought for a joke.

His bed!. Probably in his bed. As he lay in a foetal position. Even though she still loved Saunders. There were three of them. He wondered. Big men. They didn't say 'hello' and sat down at his table. Biceps and triceps screaming to be released from the fetters of the finely-tailored lounge suits.

Thighs like rolls of carpet. One of them took up both spaces on the pink sofa. He was convinced that if he shook hands with any of the three. He couldn't stand Bloody Mary without ice. They each had the kind of build that looks stupid in a suit. Five minutes later they did arrive.

In suits. Shoulders tiered from the neck. McIntyre couldn't shake the feeling that they were yearning. The armrests were forced out into a tired Vee. When he turned and caught sight of them. The kind of bodies that only look right and natural in posing pouches.

He felt as if he was sitting in the middle of a huge barrel of sweating muscle. McIntyre just sat there. Small talk: The case eventually sprang open and the man took out a fold-out. Then he remembered the bolt clippers.

The tall. When the coffee came. While they waited for it to arrive. The three men were upset.

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All three of the men ordered decaff coffee. McIntyre pretended not to notice that they couldn't get their fingers through the cup handles. McIntyre explained. For a moment McIntyre found himself feeling sorry for the man. The man on the sofa lifted up a briefcase and fiddled clumsily with the lock. As it smacked into the tarmacadamed three-lane highway.

Lister watched with envy as another hopper overtook him with the easy grace of a frolicking deer. Lister's neck was forced into the hollow at the base of his skull. The hopper leapt into the air. He slipped the gear into jump. The hopper hit a metal drain cover with such violence that Lister bit his cigarette in half.

The hopper's suspension was completely shot to hell. The next landing was the worst. Hoppers had been introduced to Mimas thirty years previously. Lister began to wish he'd never stolen it. Lister flicked on the 'For Hire' sign. The hopper's rear legs retracted into the engine housing.

People had been known to die of starvation in particularly bad ones. They were his favourite bits. In Paris people parked even where it wasn't possible. In London people parked wherever it was possible. Something was burning. Forget it. Smoke began to plume from between Lister's legs. Some part of him that had hair. It smelled like hair. Mimian slang for 'pavements'. The trotters. The Earth had long been purged of all its valuable mineral resources.

His eyes searched desperately for a place to park. A hiss signalled the end of the cigarette. The thick air hung heavy with the smells and noises of a hundred mingling cultures.

And since he was the only thing in the hopper that had hair. He liked all the parts of him that had hair. Stacks of hoppers. Then he smelled coffee. Hot coffee. On Mimas people parked on top of the people who'd parked where it wasn't possible. A typical Saturday night on Mimas. Astros and miners on planet leave going wallet-bulging crazy.

The Spanish-owned Saturnian satellite of Mimas was a supply centre and stop-off point for the thousands of mining vessels which plundered the smaller planets and the larger moons and asteroids. Traffic blared and leapfrogged over him as he skewed across lanes. Humankind had emptied its home planet like an enema.

In desperation he grabbed the thermos flask lying on the passenger seat. Still nowhere to park. There was a second of delicious relief. Piping-hot coffee. On the first landing. They stopped at a blue light.

The man in the navy-blue officer's coat and the blatantly false moustache flagged down Lister's hopper and got in. At right angles to them. You're paid to drive. Being an astro? I was sort of thinking of signing up. But they don't just accept any old.

The hopper. Piping-hot coffee that covered his loins. The pain had already hit him by the time he poured the bottle of upholstery cleaner he found in the glove compartment over his thighs.

The last thing he really remembered with any decent clarity was celebrating his birthday back on Earth. I doubt whether you'd get in. In Whitechapel they had pina coladas. Something about two hours and ten minutes. Pentonville Road. How he'd got there was still something of a mystery. And only two of the four still had the power of speech.

Something about it being nearer than you think. He'd woken up slumped across a table in a McDonald's burger bar on Mimas.

Lister had been trying to get off Mimas for nearly six months now. And so they continued around the board. There was a vague. Something about Saturn being in the heart of the solar system. The lights changed and they lurched off.

By the time they'd got to Oxford Street. What was more. And then a thick. A drink at each of the squares was the plan. They started with hot toddies to revive them from the ride.

He was broke. The Angel Islington. They'd hitched a ride in a frozen-meat truck from Liverpool. His last real memory was of telling the others he was going to buy a Monopoly board. King's Cross station. In Euston Road. So far he'd saved fifty-three. Girls' and 'Sex. I'm led to believe the Mimian bladderfish is particularly exquisite. Call it twenty to be on the safe side. When Lister got drunk. He wasn't totally crazy about this area. He'd spent the last six months trying to get the eight hundred dollarpounds he needed to buy a shuttle ticket home.

And he was probably going to blow that tonight. For a start you. Making money on Mimas wasn't easy. He brought the hopper to a crunching halt on the corner of hundred-and-fifty-second and third.

He poured what remained of the coffee into the flask lid. He was sick of this armpit of a moon. Wait round the corner. What could be nicer.

Pause outside. Lister wasn't here. It ended when the severed ear of the taller pimp landed with a soft. Each evening. If he'd set about his hopper scam in a slightly more business-like way. He was only half-aware of the hopper rocking gently from side to side as the two men rolled on its bonnet.

Hence his problem. When he was convinced it was safe. Lister double-checked the door locks. In some half-assed. Which he attempted to solve by stealing taxi hoppers.

It was brief and. Saturday nights on Mimas were wild. Girls' sign. Lister looked at the hopper clock. So wild. Suddenly there was another soft. It's raining ears on my windscreen. Sunday one and Sunday two. He turned on the wipers. When the windscreen cleared.

"red dwarf: infinity welcomes careful drivers by grant naylor"

He slipped his taxi-driver's night stick up the arm of his jacket. What the hell's happening? Forty minutes since the man in the blue officer's coat had gone for his 'meal'. Even though it was cold. Denis had a second-class degree in Biochemistry.

Denis was into Bliss. They hadn't made love for the last four years. She'd been laughing for nearly an hour. Everybody shifted one star sign forward. They'd met at the New Zodiac Festival six years earlier. Josie had a first-class degree in Pure Mathematics.

Not that they actually made love. His stomach had bunched itself into a fist and was trying to punch its way out of his body. He took out a long-empty polythene bag.

Denis huddled in the shop doorway. He hadn't eaten for two days. Not any more. Her long. Josie was sitting by his side. Of the two. But it was a different kind of hunger that was gnawing at him now. Josie had moved from Libra to Scorpio. It was a turningpoint in both their lives: At first. Your conscious mind was totally subverted. No screens. The only way out of the Game was to want to leave it. Now they were on their way to Neptune. It was the ultimate hallucinogen.

It killed you. But no one ever wanted to leave. And Denis at least shared his food with her. Underneath it. The Game started out actually as a game.

Across her brow gleamed the metal band of a Game head. The Game protected itself. They'd been travelling for five years. But Josie had Denis. It was only a month after its release that people realised it was addictive. When Josie first bought. So Denis scanned the street for a roll while Josie sat beside him.

Once you entered 'Better Than Life'. The Game had been marketed as 'Better Than Life'. Inside your head. It was intended to be the zenith of computer game technology. This was partly because you weren't even aware you were in 'Better Than Life' in the first place. Tiny computer chips in the electrodes transmitted signals directly to the brain. Most Game heads. But he didn't.

Not everybody did. Unique for two reasons. Which was laughable. The Bliss high lasted fifteen minutes. He always saved a final belt for when he needed to roll someone for money. But Denis was into Bliss.

Better Than Life (Red Dwarf) [PDF Download] Full Ebook

And I have cometh to thee for a. Denis took off his boot. I am God. Lister should have known better. She wanted to try 'multiusing'. He should have put his head down and run. And by the time he worked out what was happening. It made you believe you were God.

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The mortal had recognised Him. Which made it very hard for the police to carry out drug busts. The first was that you could get addicted to Bliss just by looking at it. Which is what he was going to do right now. Few people could live with it.

He'd been on Mimas long enough to know not to turn round when he heard the voice. The second was its effect. It made you feel as if you were all-seeing. Bliss was a unique designer drug. The Bliss freak took his hand out of his pocket and showed Lister what he had in there that could hurt him.

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I'm broke. When he came to. I've got absolutely nothing on me. I've told you. Lister eyed him up and down. The punch had no strength. He wasn't that big. He swung it round. I'm completely strapped.

It was his fist. I need some of your mortal money. Not a bean. And what did he have in his raincoat pocket that could hurt him? A lightning bolt? He decided to stand his ground.

He banged his head against the edge of the door frame. An excellent and most popular choice. Tina's left. Lister watched. And what would sir like.

I'll have the right one from her. Various fat men of various nationalities sat around the lagoon in white towels. Phallus-shaped diving boards cast frightening shadows onto the softly gurgling water. Plastic palm trees encircled a vast. A black. I think this one. FIVE Lister made his way shakily down the brothel's dusky staircase and stepped onto the red.

In front of Lister a small red-haired man. Before Lister could stop her. I don't want a girl. I'm supposed to collect him. The Madame turned to Lister. It was like being trapped in a milking machine.

There was an extraordinarily long pause. The man with the false moustache was sitting in a Jacuzzi. Would you like a pick'n'mix or an off-the-peg?

I thought it was a bit strange the. This has never happened before. I'm looking for someone. It'll be out of commission for at least twelve months! If you hadn't heard my screams. Lister leaned out of the window. The hopper lurched to a halt outside the shuttleport hopper rank. Don't cross me. I think it's a smegging brothel. I don't think this is a small bijou eatery.

Instead of a hundred dollarpound tip. Lister's fare climbed painfully from the cab. In fact. I'm pretty much a high-flier. Or so it appeared to the naked eye. In actuality. That's how surprised the rubber plant was. Eight people in all passed through McIntyre's room.

The rubber plant knew. Over the last few weeks it had witnessed the gradual deterioration of McIntyre's mental health. The humans muttered darkly about why McIntyre would have done such a thing. They put McIntyre's body on a stretcher and took him away. His biggest and greenest leaf. His last thought was: I bet this doesn't work. The bullet passed through the back of his head. The rubber plant was surprised. Saunders lay on the brown leather couch in the medical unit.

The hologramatic. The only leaf he was truly one hundred per cent happy with. Three medical orderlies duly arrived. But he was wrong. If the rubber plant could have spoken. The light bee. You are a simulation of a possible Frank. You act in the way the computer estimates Frank Saunders would probably have acted. The effect was so convincing. Do you believe man has an eternal soul? I'm an engineer. Not the mark of Cain.

He couldn't be deader. The Being called Frank Saunders no longer exists in this dimension. The stigma of the Dead. And I believe. And so Saunders lay suspended an infinitesimal distance above the brown leather couch in the medical unit. So Saunders was a computer simulation of a probability of a possible person. Weiner raced through his hologramatic body. I want your Love Thing? And although you're not thinking.

What he did feel like doing was taking a small ball-peen hammer and tapping it several times on top of the balding pate of the metaphysical psychiatrist who was now twittering on about tables. And then. He also didn't feel like listening to another philosophical discussion about the nature of Reality.

The Cartesian Principle is: For a short time Saunders listened to the relentless clicking of the clock in the corner. He didn't feel like a computer simulation of a probability of a possible person.

I possibly are! Hologram simulation of a full human personality took up forty per cent of the computer's run-time. With his superior rank. I only possibly are.

Red Dwarf - 1 - Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers | Penguin Books | Nature

As Weiner relayed the news of McIntyre's suicide. You'd better sit down. He outranked Saunders. Maybe he's unstable. McIntyre would take precedence over Saunders and become the ship hologram.

It's not as if I am.

I'm going to die for a second time in a fortnight. McIntyre was a flight co-ordinator. Under the pool table. In the meantime. On a poster on the wall of the newly-painted office. Once the suckers had signed up. Caldicott Tipp-Exed out 'David' from the surname box on the recruitment form and. Which was white and brave. He looked at the object sitting opposite him. Lister gazed out onto the busy Mimian street and tried to read the sign on the window: Caldicott spent his entire working day sitting in his immaculate white uniform in the window of the recruitment centre.

I was about six weeks old then. Caldicott reflected. To boldly go where no person has gone before. Technical Drawing'. Four or five gangly. I need a date of birth for the form. It was probably some time in October. He looked like a casualty in a catering war: When do you celebrate your birthday?

If his daughter had brought home this specimen. He signed and pocketed the pen. An old man. Want to bet? He wondered why he hadn't thought of this before. Caldicott didn't feel this was absolutely the best time to put Lister in the picture. A third technician's duties basically consisted of making sure the vending machines didn't run out of chicken soup. Lister cast his eyes over the conditions of employment. Join the Space Corps. You'll have to enter at third technician level.

Five long years. Mimas Central Shuttle Station. Leave your address. He settled on: He glanced up at the white uniformed officer with the Burt Lancaster smile in the poster. He was signing up for five years. When he got out. They stopped at the huge bank of luggage lockers and looked around.

You didn't mess with the Shore Patrol. People pretended not to look at them. German and three different dialects of Chinese. Two Shore Patrol officers strode through the milling crowds.

The dark-haired one banged on the door. Not unless you wanted your skull rearranged to resemble a relief map of Mars. I'm telling you. We're looking for a guy called "Lister". A group of miners stubbed out their cigarettes and finished their beers.

Lister was awakened from a dream about a pickle sandwich that spoke fluent Italian by the deafening metallic clanging. He cupped his chin in one hand. I tried sleeping on a park bench. It's more of a bachelor luggage-locker than -' 'How long have you been sleeping in there? Give me a minute.

They've found him a ship. It's a long story. I'm just hungry. He tucked it back into the netting of the seat in front of him.

The shuttle buzzed slowly through the groups of gar-. Out of ten. You good ol' artificial terra-formed settlement. An Epicure's Delight'. Why don't we do it?

Just promise not to bring your steel truncheon. Nice 'n' Nauseating. He thumbed through the shuttle's in-flight magazine. You're my idea of heaven. Lunar City Seven. I've been around. Maybe root through a bin for the remnants of a Kentucky Fried Chicken. Like that good ol' toddlin' town.

Lister wondered. But there ain't no place In the whole of Space. And Away! He stared for a brief moment at the blisteringly unpromising contents page: Then back to your place for half a bottle of paraffin. Lister sat in the packed shuttle with the rest of the new recruits on the twenty-five minute jag up to their assigned ship.

It could have been so romantic. You know. How is it possible.

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All the ships were constructed in orbit. For five full minutes the shuttle ran alongside a supply ship called the Arthur C. But it was big. Eventually the shuttle reached the cusp of the star freighter's bulb. And red. As the shuttle swung out to align itself for docking. This was the scoop. Lister was aware of the hot whisky breath of the burly astro beside him. Aerodynamics was never a consideration in starship design.

Lister made out the thousands of tiny pin-pricks of windows and a tooth floss-thin line of light ringing the ship: As the shuttle accelerated towards the redness. A big. A huge. The scoop sucked hydrogen from the currents of space and converted it into fuel. He couldn't see where it started and he couldn't see where it finished. Lister's window was filled with red. It's worse than New York. Petersen belched. Been on Mimas long? And Triton Immigration Control is a son-of-a-bitch.

Triton's OK. But first we've got to go to Triton to get the ore to take to Earth. Lister squinted out of the window again. One minute it was as if they were flying through Manhattan. On either side. It only does two hundred thousand miles an hour. For a tantalising moment. And he was. Now Petersen was walking sideways. Informed that he couldn't bring the liquor aboard without paying duty. His possessions had comprised a toothbrush.

NINE Lister pushed through the crowded docking bay. The head was a digitised reproduction of a balding forty year-old man. We're still looking for a Burroughs. They'd been stopped at Red Dwarf customs and Petersen had been bag-searched.

I'm Chomsky. Exorcist sick. High above. A sigh. Petersen tried to tip them. He's got an IQ of six thousand. You want to ask him a question?

Lister, David. Date of birth, 14th October, Technician, Third Class. All right, Dave? Four thousand, six hundred and thirty-six square yards in the regular season. Chomsky chipped in: Born Finally Petersen asked a question.

Burroughs and Schmidt finally arrived, and the ten of them were herded onto the Red Dwarf's Northern Line, one of a network of tube trains which criss-crossed the length and breadth of the ship. Spread evenly throughout the carriage were more monitors displaying the genius computer, who was capable of conducting several thousand conversations simultaneously, ranging from what was on the ship's movie channel that night to discussing the melding of quantum mechanics and general relativity.

Some thirty minutes later they boarded the Xpress super lift, which whisked them up to Floor 9,, where they were met by a ship rover - a three wheel electric buggy-bus - and driven down two miles of corridors towards the sleeping quarter, Area P. I'll just go and fix up the other guys. Dull, gunmetal grey walls reflected his mood. Neon strips around the walls simulated the time of day. Dirty yellow at the moment signalled the middle of the afternoon. A dirty orange would signal early evening, and a dirty blue would indicate night.

Two bunk cubicles were carved into recesses in the wall, one above the other. To the right stood a simple pedestal wash basin and mirror, which, when voice-activated, swivelled on its base to reveal an antiquated chemical toilet bearing the legend: Lister began to wish he was in his nice, cosy luggage locker back at Mimas Central.

Behind him was a bank of fitted aluminium wardrobes, and two steps led down to what was laughingly sign-posted 'Lounge Area'. The lounge area was about two metres square, with a three-seater reinforced steel settee, and a tiny coffee. Nice, thought Lister. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Details if other: Thanks for telling us about the problem.

Return to Book Page. The first lesson Lister learned about space travel was you should never try it. But Lister didn't have a choice. All he remembered was going on a birthday celebration pub crawl through London. When he came to his senses again, with nothing in his pockets but a passport in the name of Emily Berkenstein. Amazed to discover they would actuall The first lesson Lister learned about space travel was you should never try it.

Get A Copy. Mass Market Paperback , pages. Published September 1st by Roc first published More Details Original Title. Other Editions Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers , please sign up. Does anyone know why it is seemingly impossible to get an eBook of this, or the sequel? Ka I would presume any publishing rights reverted to the authors long ago. Since there's clearly money to be made, it's odd that no eBooks have been …more I would presume any publishing rights reverted to the authors long ago.

Since there's clearly money to be made, it's odd that no eBooks have been released. I'd say that's the best bet for an answer. See 1 question about Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers…. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Rating details. Sort order. Mar 05, Andrew rated it really liked it.

Ok this has been a blast of pure nostalgia for me - I loved the series when it first aired, it had for me the right mix or humour and science fiction. I guess for me I have always been suspicious of humour and SF simply because its been too easy to laugh at the genre and its fans rather than try and be clever and laugh with them. I will admit the likes of Douglas Adams has gone a long way to correct that yet still its sometimes all too easy to fall for the easy and cheap gags.

For me Red Dwarf Ok this has been a blast of pure nostalgia for me - I loved the series when it first aired, it had for me the right mix or humour and science fiction. For me Red Dwarf did not go for the cheap gag - okay the effects may be a little on the cheap or at least limited by the technology the budget could afford but the humour was there and it laughed good and hard at itself rather than at you.

So the book, this really told a condensed version of stories from the first and second series with a lot more detail and back story - so to find out more you will either need to read the book or watch the series - and either or both are fine by me. This brings back memories of the series and the sheer stupidity of it - that and singing the end title song out loud View 2 comments. Sep 05, Jason rated it it was amazing Shelves: I was going to write a review for this book that I last read a few years ago, but I thought sod it, it must be time for a re-read.

This is where it all started, one of the greatest SciFi series ever, a brilliant cast of characters and funny as hell story. I've watched the series so many times now that when reading the books the characters voices come so easily to me. During this reading I kept getting glimpses of Douglas Adams writing, never noticed that previously, but the explanations about spa I was going to write a review for this book that I last read a few years ago, but I thought sod it, it must be time for a re-read.

During this reading I kept getting glimpses of Douglas Adams writing, never noticed that previously, but the explanations about space travel and the descriptions of Red Dwarf reminded me of Hitchhikers guide.

Brilliant comedy SciFi that has gotta be read by everybody. Feb 19, David Sarkies rated it really liked it Shelves: Gazpacgo Soup I can't say exactly when I first encountered Red Dwarf — I was probably sitting at home one night, board out of my brains, and channel surfing, when suddenly I discovered this show that looked very science-fictiony on the ABC and was instantly intrigued.

While I can't remember the first episode that I ever watched though I believe it was the third season , I do remember instantly falling in love with it. In fact, at the time I was still really interested in film making and seeing Gazpacgo Soup I can't say exactly when I first encountered Red Dwarf — I was probably sitting at home one night, board out of my brains, and channel surfing, when suddenly I discovered this show that looked very science-fictiony on the ABC and was instantly intrigued.

I was always particularly interested in low budget science-fiction shows: Blake's 7 and Doctor Who. When I stumbled serendipitously upon Red Dwarf my interest was immediately caught.

Anyway, Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers is basically the novelisation of the first two seasons of Red Dwarf, though it is drafted in a way that creates a much more seamless story. Those of us who have watched the early shows will be very familiar with the episodes that make their way into the books, including the one where they first meet Kryten, the one where Rimmer creates a duplicate of himself, and of course the pilot episode.

However, unlike the series the authors who also created the series — which was originally a radio show did a brilliant job creating what is in effect a seamless story from a collection of disparate episodes. However, while the idea of a science-fiction sitcom in space is always appealing, it is the characters that really attract my attention. The thing with the characters is that they are all extremes. Mind you, I am actually hesitant to suggest that Lister is an extreme because he just seems to be your everyday working class slob.

Sure, they paint him as being somewhat of an extreme slob that lives on a diet of vindaloo and beer, however there is actually something realistic, and appealing, about him. I guess it has something to do with the fact that he really doesn't care.

Sure, life as thrown its fair share of punches at him, and wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but he seems to just roll with the punches and simply gets on with life.

In a way he is carefree and really not worried about what people think of him, or what the next day would bring and despite the fact that he is a working class slob, he is actually pretty smart, though these smarts would be considered street smarts. Rimmer couldn't be the more opposite, which is probably why they suggest that Red Dwarf is the Odd Couple in space. Unlike Lister, Rimmer blames everybody else, but himself, for his short comings, and is always trying to impress the wrong sorts of people, which generally lands him up in a lot of trouble.

In fact the friendships that he should be cultivating he actually rejects and he pretty obviously brown noses people that really couldn't care less about him. Rimmer is the classic example of the pointlessness of the career minded individual that seeks to elevate himself above others, which in the end earns their disdain. His repeated failure to pass the astronavigation examine namely because he doesn't actually study for it is a clear example of how all of his priorities are wrong and let's not forget him spending his spare time in stasis so that by the end of the seven year tour, he is only six years older.

The Cat, however, is a rather enigmatic creature. In a way he is the opposite of Lister, for where Lister is a slob, he is incredibly stylish. In fact his attention to neatness and style puts him in the same camp as Rimmer, who always appears in an immaculate uniform. However, unlike Rimmer, he lives a carefree life which has no ambition beyond eating, sleeping, and looking for women as well as making sure he looks incredibly stylish. Ironically it turns out that he relates to Lister much more than he does Rimmer in fact nobody likes Rimmer, probably because he is just one enormous goit.

Red Dwarf is an incredibly existentialist piece of work. What we have are three actually four if you count the computer Holly characters stuck millions of miles from home, millions of years in the future. In fact from their vantage point there is unlikely to be any home left. As such anything, and everything, that gives them character — their home, their friends if they have any , their goals and their dreams, have all been stripped from them leaving them alone without a world that can define them.

As such they are in a situation where they are defined only by how they define themselves though of course there is an element of creating a definition of each other: Of course, in this environment, where they are effectively on their own, they don't necessarily need accept what the other makes them out to be, which in a way gives them strength.

Even though Rimmer still believes that he is in command, there is no formal command structure, which means that despite what he believes, there are only two things that Rimmer is in command of: Jack and shit, and unfortunately for Rimmer, Jack just left town. However, despite the fact that there are three people on the ship that all agree the Rimmer is a goit and the reality is that Rimmer is a goit , that doesn't mean that he has to accept that.

What Red Dwarf teaches us is that by stripping away all of society, and our peers, all we are left with is that which we have defined for ourselves though of course, in Rimmer's case, this is completely delusional. Of course, this all comes down to the scene with regards to the gazpacgo soup. When Rimmer first came on board the ship he was invited to the captains cabin for dinner and he saw this as his one big break, so he went out of his way to impressed them, and to say that it turned out to be a disaster is an understatement.

The crux of the whole event was when he was served gazpacgo soup which is supposed to be served cold — something that I didn't know until I watched the show and Rimmer calls the waiter over to him and asks him to heat it up. This, allegedly we are only going by Rimmers account here the entire cabin burst out laughing and Rimmer was never invited back.

A Lister points out, when Rimmer finally spills the beans, the only person that is holding onto that event, and letting it drag him down is him — even if it wasn't the case that everybody in that room has been dead for three million years, in any event, after a few days of chuckling, they would have got on with their lives, while Rimmer is forever kicking himself for that one mistake or many mind you, but that is the one that haunts him — and it wasn't his fault by the way, they should have taught him in basic training.

May 29, Ubiquitousbastard rated it really liked it Shelves: Alright, so I'm kind of weird on this book. It sort of sent me in several directions emotionally, and I'm not sure a semi novelization of sci-fi comedy is supposed to do that. I mean, I did smile so much my face hurt which also brought to me the realization that I don't smile very much and also left me feeling extremely depressed partly from that realization.

I think that the overall tone was more serious and dark than the show, which never at all left me feeling sad. This book was more in Alright, so I'm kind of weird on this book. This book was more introspective about personal failure and the demands of society which almost no one can meet. So, yeah, sad. Also, the ending. Come on. You can't give me a downer book with a downer ending. Despite all that, it was funnier than most of what I've read recently, it gave me some awesome background on Red Dwarf, which I can now go around lecturing people on.

See, that's probably part of the people disliking me thing. Really, Naylor could have just stuck them all in a telenovela and I would've been pleased Jun 24, Stonemagpie rated it it was amazing Shelves: It's the boys from the Dwarf!

I loved this book so much, and if you enjoyed the tv show you will too. Rob Grant and Doug Naylor outdid themselves; this was the first book in years that has made me laugh out loud. It starts off explaining how Lister ended up on Red Dwarf and takes off from there. Some of the plot is familiar, some is new.

But the authors managed to gather together storylines from episodes into a whole that not only makes sense, but fills original episode plot h Fan-smegging-tastic! But the authors managed to gather together storylines from episodes into a whole that not only makes sense, but fills original episode plot holes at the same time.

Anyway, it's great. I inhaled it and you must go read it now. Read by Chris Barrie Rimmer they are quite simply brilliant. May 03, Angus McKeogh rated it it was amazing. Just absolutely awesome stuff! Such a fun read and funny as hell. Reminiscent of Douglas Adams but certainly not a direct copy. If anything perhaps more brilliant in some areas and a bit inferior in others. The whole bit about Rimmer making a copy of himself was just phenomenal. But grand. Highly recommended!

Jul 11, Crystal Starr Light rated it liked it Shelves: So I checked them out from the library thinking, "Oh, great. They'll probably be boring and stupid. The series was great, and my sister and I became mild fans. So, when I discovered that there were books and found them on sale, I snatched them up. David Lister, third technician on Red Dwarf, a 6 mile long space mining ship, is sent to stasis just in time to avoid a radiation leak that wipes out the rest After taking a Lit of Sci-Fi class in college, I found about this TV Series.

David Lister, third technician on Red Dwarf, a 6 mile long space mining ship, is sent to stasis just in time to avoid a radiation leak that wipes out the rest of the population on Red Dwarf.

He exits three million years later to a senile computer named Holly, an annoying failure named Arnold J. Rimmer, and a highly evolved cat named Cat. Throughout the book, they encounter future echoes from traveling at faster than light speed, "alien" encounters, and discovering wrecks of other space ships. The biggest draw to Red Dwarf is one thing: The humor in Red Dwarf is gut-wrenchingly funny, just as in the TV series in fact, there is no much difference between the two mediums, but see below.

Lister is a complete slob; Rimmer is his "Odd Couple" counterpart, a man who has failed the astronavigation exam 13 times in pursuit of being an officer. Nearly everything anyone says is meant to be sarcastic, though some of the jokes don't make sense to Americans or at least this American.

While this is likely to disturb those who are obsessed with continuity I would normally be in that category , this book does have some distinct deviations from the TV series, which makes the relation of the episodes more later more cohesive. They become one story instead of a weekly engagement. Lastly, the third part was odd, but really interesting. I liked the stark divergence from the TV series on this and seeing what Lister, Rimmer, and Cat would imagine in their fantasies minus the gratuitous sexual references, of course.

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While the book makes some pretty interesting deviations from the TV series namely how Rimmer and Lister first met--and this is a little raunchy, in my opinion--and in the final section of the book , overall, there really is not much difference between them. At times, I feel like I am reading one of the episode's screenplay. This is a little disappointing as I was expecting to read more about the lives of Lister and Rimmer beyond the TV series and not just a rehash of the same jokes and situations.

The jokes were funny in the TV series; hearing them repeated without Chris Barrie, Craig Charles, or Norman Lovett's wonderful intonations is just eating the cake and scraping off the icing. Also, "Grant Naylor" rush past descriptions to get to the dialogue. They fail to note what the room looks like, what a person is doing, and what is happening in the background until after a person brings it up in dialogue. This makes the book difficult to understand and follow at times. Lastly, much of the humor in this book as in the TV series is merely reproductive humor.

I will not blame the book for this "flaw" as the TV series was filled with it as well. I get tired of hearing jokes about the size of organs, sleeping around, and the like. Humor is more than just body functions and it takes true talent to be able to make something funny without stooping to this juvenile level.

Sexual situations crop up in jokes and surroundings the beginning details a trek to an android brothel, Lister own a pair of underwear he considers very "lucky", Cat is sex obsessed, etc.

Violence includes a man committing suicide, descriptions of a man being blown up, and several deaths. This was not bad, but if you are a Red Dwarf fan like myself , you might be a little disappointed. The descriptions are lacking, there is little character development beyond what is seen in the TV series, and most of the humor is dependent on certain reproductive organs.

Also, the book has a tendency to contradict the TV series not bad, but worth noting. This book was not a bad way to spend my time, but not five star quality and not as funny as it implied it was it was rather lame that most of the jokes were just carbon-copies of the ones delivered in the TV series.

View all 10 comments. Sep 20, Sandi rated it it was amazing Shelves: This is a lot like the television show episodes in book format so of course I love it!

I've been a fan of the show since it started and was gleeful when I found there were actually novels! It tells the tale of the Red Dwarf crew from the start. It includes a lot of what was in the first two series as well as a ton of details that you wouldn't know if that was your only source.

Then it throws in whole new story lines and tangents. Lister's back story of how he ended up on Red Dwarf was something This is a lot like the television show episodes in book format so of course I love it! Lister's back story of how he ended up on Red Dwarf was something I had wanted to know for a long time. This is one book I would compare to Adams style and it holds its own admirably.

Kudos to Grant and Naylor. I really must find the rest of the books they have written for Red Dwarf. I've also noted there are audiobooks of this and the other novels read by Chris Barrie! I would be a total smeghead if I didn't add then to my listening list as well. As a huge Red Dwarf fan, I naturally love the four books based on the series too. Chris Barrie is the perfect narrator for this story.

Great fun for fans of the show, but this could also be enjoyed by those coming to the characters and story for the first time.